I read chapter three and finished re reading it last night. I procrastinated writing my week 3 post and now its week 4 and my heart is too heavy to re read chapter 4 (I read through chapter 5 weeks ago when I first read the book). My heart is heavy because God is opening my eyes and I am speechless. The scene described here broke me. Just broke my heart. My eyes are tearing right now as the words from the post swirl in my head creating pictures in my head that just should not be . What can I do? I want to call someone and find out how I can get money there RIGHT NOW. That four week old baby covered in spit up, crying in a room all by herself. That just should not be. It shouldn't. I want to send blankets and formulas and toys and diapers. Someone please tell me how can I do that?
But God isn't just showing me pain and misery and needs that are going unmet. He is also opening my eyes to the reality that there are people out there that I know personally who are getting up, leaving and going to the nations to teach people about the beauty and the love and the glory of God. In less than 3 hours my sweet friend (let's call her Grace), her husband, and their sweet almost two year old curly haired daughter are boarding a plane for Africa. Grace is pregnant. They are not coming back for a very long time. They are going to Africa- a country they love to - minister in remote villages. Where they are going there isn't always electricity and you cook over a fire. Friends- Grace is in her second trimester...Baby #2 will be born in Kenya (their eventual destination is much further in an unreached part of the world). They are walking talking breathing lessons on trusting in God's protection. They love God and they love God's people so they are going. They have every excuse not to go (seriously- taking a two year old to the ends of the earth and delivering a baby in the ends of the earth???) but they want to go... so today in just a few hours they will be on their way. I worry for Grace and her husband and their daughter....how do you survive pregnancy in a mud hut with no running water or electricity. How do you do it? Then God reminded me of two things. First, millions of women do it every day. Second- Grace and her family are not alone. God the Almighty King of Kings is with them. Just reading these words leaves me speechless.
I don't have words...I don't know why God is opening my eyes like this. I don't know what He is doing...I don't know what He wants me to do...and that is hard. It's hard!